FINAL Listen down and tweaking. The moves are tiny, .3 db, accompanied by quizzical stares. Still, the itches are receding, and the overall disc is still jumping up levels. I think we're there. Only mastering is going to be able to push this further, at this point, and that's scheduled for tomorrow, in Philly. I called mom, and the car's available. Phil Nicolo was worried about a conflict with a Sly and Robbie project, but it looks like we're in the clear.

The song order has been shuffled again. The cards, now marked with dirty footprints, are still on Blake's floor. We're slowly getting courageous with the order. Fuck it - front load it with big stuff. Let 'em have it, full on. What the hell? Don't keep cutting up strings of uptempo songs with slower ones...

Of course, that philosophy could easily change tonight, or tomorrow.

Now I think we have:

when i get out of jail
skimming
be your man
strawberry
monday morning
grace
free
rebuild
(not so) sad
underwater
coney island

Sections of it really work, and "underwater" into "coney island" isn't smarty pants. It's just smart. After "underwater" there's basically nothing left to say or do. It's that big, to me.

I'm exhausted. I've done what I can with what I have, and I think it's great.

Called Blake. He tweaked late into the night. Hated "Underwater" into "Free" in the song order. I suggested flipping "Free" and "Monday Morning." We're working this evening.

Titles:
One Good Tomorrow
Breathe it in
Every Night is Halloween (no, but a great live CD title...for the future...)
Girlfriend Weather
Half Way There
Life Size....

jeez...

Jen came with me to the Listen Down. Tweaking has become minute, but critical. Nudge this up 1db, nudge that back .5db...

Blake put the songs up in an 'unsatisfying order' so that we were forced to listen and judge each song on its own merits. I broke out laughing the first few seconds into "Be Your Man" and "Skimming". They're just so strong, it's ridiculous. A few minutes later, during "underwater" and especially in the solo of "monday morning", my eyes started welling up. I turned my head away from Blake and Jen, trying to wipe the tears off my face with my shoulder, trying to make my sniffling seem like allergies, trying, and fooling no one, I'm sure. By the final chorus of "grace" I damn near started sobbing. I put both my hands over my face, and of course trust both of them enough to totally lose it, but felt that the work still wasn't finished, and that I had to do whatever it took to stay critical and be a pro. It was all I could do to keep my shit together, but I know that that's not going to last forever. There's going to be a private moment some night, in bed with headphones on, or in some random hotel room, maybe sober, maybe not, when I'm going to listen down to the disc, and I'll suddenly be able to hear everything, including everything that isn't there, everything I am, everything I'm not, what I was given, what I was denied, and what I did with both, and I will dump all of that primal baggage in one howling, agonized pile of confused, wretching human disaster. I don't know for sure, but I'd guess that this happens, to some degree, to every artist you can name -- Joey Ramone, Gene Simmons, Axl Rose, Krist Noveselic, Hank Williams, PJ Harvey, Pink, Giotto, Jackson Pollock, Kermit the friggin' Frog.

Blake wrote the song titles out on index cards, just like we did with "Tonight I Drink You All". We shuffled them, looked down, and paused.
"No. Can't have two with acoustic/Danelectro sections..."
Shuffle. Pause.
"No. Answering machine and tape player sounds are too close."
Shuffle. Pause.
"YES. I love how one leads into the other. And 'Underwater' can't be the song before 'Coney Island'. You know? The water, into the beaches...such a smarty pants choice. No way. And 'Grace' needs to be further up in the batting order..."
Shuffle. Pause.
"Well, this order sucks, but 'Rebuild' into '(Not So) Sad' is great."
...and so on.

The order we're at, right now (i think):

when i get out of jail
skimming
be your man
monday morning
strawberry song
grace
rebuild
(not so) sad
underwater
Free
Coney Island

While I was away in DC for the weekend, working, Blake went over each song, to tweak them "horizontally", or against each other, instead of just within themselves. This will add a uniformity across the disc. He called my machine after each song. "Dude, 'jail' is awesome..." click. "Dude, 'Be Your Man needed a tweak here and there, but it's friggin' awesome..." click. "Underwater is a masterpiece. It's just so cool to be doing this disc..." click. For each song.

We are scheduled to master with Phil Nicolo in Philly this Thursday. Who is Phil Nicolo? This is Phil Nicolo. He also did "Tonight I Drink You All". We're psyched for the road trip down.